The Secret Formula To Good Taste
Sugar, spice, discernment and time
Despite what this clickbait-y title might tell you, I’m not sure there’s a true “how-to” on how to develop good taste. And some may argue that if you’re trying to create good taste, you’ll never have it.
Regardless, I think there’s something to be said about how many people are actively searching for guides on how to develop their taste. And it makes sense — a lot of us feel scattered and overstimulated right now. Everyday, we take in avalanches of information. A lot of media. A lot of things to have opinions and thoughts about. And increasingly so, there’s more urgency to have your answer at the ready.
Not to mention, so industries and spaces have become so oversaturated that many lament in one way or another that “Everyone looks the same” or “Nothing is unique anymore.”
But of course, that’s not true. There’s plenty of unique things out there; both to be created and consumed. But how do you break through the noise?
Like I said, there is no perfect equation. But if I had to make one for the sake of this letter, I’d say the key to developing your good, authentic taste is:
Inspiration + Discernment, multiplied by Time.
You will run into things you love and feel moved by for the rest of your life — that’s one of the best parts of it. What falls away versus what sticks over the years? Well, that’s your taste.
The topic of taste is not new to this newsletter. In my last essay, I explored the line between inspiration and taste; where the two meet and how they’re different. This is more of a guide — or simply a list of reminders — about practicing the art of tastemaking in your own life.
But really, it’s about figuring out what you really like (at least at the moment) while the world is constantly feeding you more.
Keep a journal of things that make you feel something
This is the most obvious one that you’ve heard everywhere, and for that reason, I won’t harp on for too long. Just know this: the act of journaling can come in many forms. This could include: taking photos, recording voice notes or simply having a space (or spaces) to chronicle the things that move you.
Notice things around you — especially outside of the internet.
Social media algorithms feed us things it thinks we like or more importantly: need to buy. Sometimes it’s right, sometimes it’s wrong — but it doesn’t matter either way. You can’t let these things dictate what your taste is. That doesn’t give you a well rounded view of your interests.
Instead, you should feed your senses of discovery! Let yourself be surprised by things you wouldn’t think you’d like:
Pick up a magazine you’ve never heard of at a coffee shop.
Go to a poetry open mic.
Take note of the colors that call to you during your walks around your neighborhood.
Buy perfume samples!
Then, note down the patterns.
Your taste isn’t a single thing, it’s a collection of everything you’ve ever loved. Notice commonalities in the museum of your favorite things:
What colors are the most present in your closet?
What song do you reach for during specific occasions?
What poet/songwriter pops into your head immediately when someone asks your favorite line?
This is where the element of time comes into play. You won’t know what your taste profile is if you don’t let yourself try, try, try. Because then, you can look back and see what worked and what didn’t. What you want to repeat and what you’d rather retire.
Go treasure hunting!
Our taste can be partially defined by the things we own or choose to own. Consumerism and capitalism has wrecked this simple part of life, but it doesn’t take away the fact that what we want to be a part of us (in our closet, our home, on our face), can very much reflect what our taste is.
However, you shouldn’t just purchase things. You should also enjoy the search. A big part of finding your taste is having fun with the journey.
I urge you to prioritize the time to browse, to go on the hunt. Taste test things. Try them on for size. Put them back if they don’t. The act of buying something can leave just as much of an imprint on your taste as leaving something behind.
And don’t be afraid to contradict yourself
Sometimes, we try to make our palette so perfectly curated that we move away from authenticity. Allow your taste in different spheres of you life to be vastly different. In other words, you might dress in a certain way but your Spotify history may not “match” exactly.
Also, avoid internalizing ideas like, “Well I’m not the type of person who goes to a XX concert or wears XX brand clothes.” It’ll keep you in a box and you’ll only look like you’re trying to sound like you have good taste.
Embrace the contradictions! These are all part of your taste profile.
Consume slowly and intentionally.
To me, good taste does not equal reading the most books or listening to the most albums. It’s about sinking into the things you love until they leave a stamp on you. I think we sometimes feel pressure to consume all the music, all the books, all the fashion trends, in order to have “good taste”. The more you consume, the more authoratative you can be, right?
No! It’s the exact opposite! It’s impossible to consume everything, anyway.
Instead, it's better to really soak it up and get to know what you like. Spoiler alert, but there will be things you won’t get around to consuming and that’s OKAY!
And allow yourself to dislike something.
I’ve always been proud of having an eclectic taste. I like a lot of music genres. It’s hard for me to choose a specific design style for my home. My personal style has evolved countless times. This is not the problem I want to fix. What I do want to fix more is my inability to even meekly, quietely say “I actually don’t like that.”
I’m not saying you need to be the pretentious person at the wine bar twirling their wine glass and sleepily lamenting that everything is overrated.
However, you do need to allow yourself to say “no” once in a while. I think we far too often veil our not-so-positive opinions with niceties like,“Well it’s fine, I like it I guess!”
Why lie to yourself? You need to have a standard and to build that standard you must get comfortable with the simple phrase: “I actually don’t like that.” Because if you don’t have that friction, that resistence, that hard place to bump up against, how will you know what you like?
Finally, give it time.
All of these things I listed may seem like a lot to balance. And there’s no real way to do it except living your life. Time is a very important — if not the most improtant — part of the equation.
It gives you wisdom and experience to discern what you like and don’t. It allows you to marinate and meditate on the books, albums, clothing collections and fragrances that you’re not sure about yet. Time will be your greatest teacher and it’ll give you the “Aha!” moment when you least expect it. And it’ll give you the wisdom to talk about it confidently.
Just remember that you won’t be able to buy a curated bundle for your taste online. It can’t be neatly packaged and sent to you overnight. It will take years. With many trials, errors and test drives. It’ll take a lot of living. So you better get going.
If you’re reading this, I appreciate you so much! I also have a podcast that I’d love for you to listen/watch if that’s your thing. If you have any questions or ponderings about style and life, submit to my advice column here! Also: you can shop my closet here and follow me on Instagram and TikTok.