Small but Effective Ways To Stop Rushing
I tried to take my time writing this
I want my life to feel like an early summer evening.
When the sun begins to shift and the clouds rearrange, painting the world below a little differently. Something about that golden light makes you stop, slow down. Suddenly, the day (evening, whatever) feels elongated. It’s the end of the day, but it also feels like something is just beginning. I thought to myself: If I could bottle this feeling up for future use, I could finally slow down.
About a month ago, I came across a TikTok that I cannot for the life of me remember who made it. But to paraphrase, the idea was this: “If you feel like you’re running out of time, slow down.” And I’ve been sitting with those words a little bit and realizing how true they are.
Then, I came across this interview with Irish philosopher and poet, David Whyte, who recited part of the poem, “Lost” by David Wagoner. He commented how there is a “profound” power in “the ability to be silent” with yourself. Specifically because it let’s your mind quiet, it calms the doubtful voices in your head and allows you to actually take action.
The common denominator I found is this: constantly being in a rush doesn’t get you anywhere quicker. Ironically, it burns you out in a way that causes you to move at a glacial, unsustainable pace.
And where does this feeling of constant rushing come from, really? For many of us, it’s due to an aching feeling of unrest. An ache that is so hard to fix or remedy. So when someone says “just slow down,” it might make you feel like punching someone.
But it’s true. The answer really is, to slow down.
And that’s why I’ve been trying to take note of how I feel during a warm summer evening. According to nature and the sun’s clock it’s still long and and beautiful; surprising you with each turn.
As I’m publishing this, we’re about 4 hours away from golden hour (EST). So, I hope after reading this you feel encouraged to soak up every moment leading up to it, during it and every one that comes after.
7 Ways I’ve Been Slowing Down
1. Watch thoughtful interviews with interesting people
I think we often forget the treasure trove of slow, thoughtful videos and interviews that are on YouTube dot com. Some may often associate the site with fast-talking creators and daredevil challenges. But I urge you to look into the cave of slow content on there because you will find some gems that will slow you down rather than rev you up.
Derrick Gee’s YouTube channel is a good example of this. He invites different artists (recently, Lorde) and each of them pick a song to listen to — really listen to! Also: any of the videos from the Louisiana Channel are a good pick for this as well. I also like this lesser known channel, Nonesuch Records that has a series similar to the Criterion Closet series where different people pick their favorite vinyls and albums and chat about them. Although short, these episodes have the same feel of slow content in my opinion.
Something about listening to a slow and enriching conversation between two people feelsl healing in a way. It’s like I’m acclimating my brain to talking slower, consumer slower and really paying attention.
But you can find your own version of this, whether it’s comedians or history documentaries. My only reccomendation for this is to make it intentional. Try your best to not do anything else while watching. Or if you must, do something that keeps you still.
2. “Paint your toes”
I CANNOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS! But I had to share because I saw it on TikTok from a very wise woman who shared that whenever she found herself rushing for no reason, she stopped to paint her toes. In her words, this would put her in a temporary “nail polish jail” for at least 20 minutes and it forced her to slow down. I can say with confidence that this in fact worked like a CHARM for me and I will be doing this more.
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This got me thinking of other things that could serve the same effect as putting yourself in “nail polish jail.” Here’s a couple other random ones that came to mind:
Putting on a face mask.
Doing a deep conditioning treatment in your hair.
Foot mask!
Going through a car wash.
3. Have a standing appointment with nature
I think we often forget to stay in touch with nature around us. Instead, we view it as something that is merely part of the backdrop of our lives. I’m learning more and more that we must take the time to bring nature back into the foreground. Not only will this literally ground you but it will each you about the value of slowness.
Going outside, usually in the mornings, and touching my bare feet to the grass has done a good job of stopping the internal speedrun going on inside my head most days. At least during the summer, this has been incredibly healing and probably the only thing halting my morning anxiety. I’ll have to figure out what to replace this with when it gets colder (but that’s a problem for future me).
It sounds simple, but find something like this to do every single day that grounds you and connects you to the earth. Make it a recurring meeting. Maybe it’s watering your plants on your balcony, taking a dip in a nearby lake or pond, going on a long walk, etc. Or it could be just taking notice of the birds or swaying trees outside your window!
4. Look up photos of fabulous older women
A big part of really allowing yourself to slow down is to make peace with aging. But that’s a lifelong journey that we’re all going to be on for a while. Still, I think a step toward the right direction is rewiring our brains so that we stop viewing aging as an equivilant to runing out of time. When it simply means, there are much more seasons and phases to come.
One way I’ve been trying to do this is by filling my social media feeds with more older women. It sounds silly, but what you see (even on the digital scale), you start to believe. I added Peggy Guggenheim above because every time I see these fabulous photos of her in a gondola it refills the proverbilal cup in my rushing soul.
I also started curating a private Pinterest board labeled “FOW” — Fabulous Older Women. If you do the same, might I also suggest adding this photo of Pamela Anderson…
BUT! These women do not have to be celebrities or rich people — think of your great aunt who plays pickleball every week, your grandma in her garden or an older mentor who still goes out dancing.
5. Listen to slow ballads
Especially after my recent experience going to sound baths, I’m starting to really see (hear!) the the power that sound has on our nervous systems. So I would suggest getting serious about creating some playlists that are specifically for remedying your racing mind.
Listening to slow music is one thing. But this can mean a lot of different elements like:
Contemplative lyrics.
Soft, drawn out melodies.
Isolated vocals.
Soft echoes.
You get the idea. Ultimately, you want music that isn’t overwhelming but rather enveloping. It needs to make you feel like you’re in a slow motion montage in a movie. But also it needs to connect you to your own life, your own body.
I’ve come across many pieces of music that do this, including the entire album, “Tether” by Annahstasia or really anything by Leonard Cohen. But also: soft vocals and smooth jazz from artists like Julie London. And songs like “Song To Siren” by The Mortal Coil which are more atmospheric and put me in a hypnotic state. It’s something about how the singer draws out the words, let’s you taste and enjoy each syllable.
Same with the song “Frozen” by Madonna — a song that I always listen to during an evening shower whenever those Sunday scaries begin to creep up.
If you want something mostly instrumental and truly meditator-approved, I would reccomend this beautifully curated playlist, too.
6. Take your time reading a long book
I’ve been saying this for a while, but WHERE is the rush when it comes to reading books?! If you’re a naturally fast reader, I get it. It’s okay to fly through books if they’re really good, or the suspensful nature of them just demands for you to be on the edge of your seat. That’s part of the ride sometimes!
But I’m talking about my other fellow slow readers: we are putting putting incredibly too much pressure on ourselves! I think it’s also a good practice to pick at least one long, dense book where you allow yourself to take your time with.
I have books that I dip in and out of almost casually. Books that I put zero pressure on myself to finish. I sometimes switch up the medium that I consume the books.
Ex: I’ve been readign Catherine The Great’s biography for almost 5 years now (yes, you read that right). I keep dipping in and out of it and it feels like I’m letting myself soak up the book. Because really, where’s the rush? I don’t have a project due, there’s no homework, I have all the time in the world!
7. Daydream more
In order to daydream more, you must faciliate an optimal environment for it. This could be surrounding certain spaces in art and fragrances that put you in a warm haze. I would suggest the spaces where you find yourself in the most “I’m in no rush” mode.
One of the perfect places I will say are galleries and museums. But here’s the trick: Go alone! Find adventure in your own solitude! I love a good trip with friends but wandering through an art museum by yourself will heal your attention span a bit.
Put your phone on airplane mode and let yourself be taken in by the art. Don’t rush or feel dependent on anyone else’s schedule!
Alone time like this isn’t lonely. It’s expanding. It’s necessary to have this time to yourself; to react to things around you in the silence of your own company.