Love Letter #006: The In-between Moments
Honoring my unfinished self and other things I loved recently.
🎙️ICYMI: I released my first podcast episode! Under the same umbrella as The Changing Room, this will be a monthly or bi-monthly video/audio interview series where I talk to stylish people from all walks of life. You can listen to the first episode here:
As we transition into winter — the cold gloom and the early sunsets…I’ve been thinking about the in-between. Oftentimes, we are forced to focus solely on the final product of ourselves. Especially as we inch closer to the new year, we’re expected to make goal lists of who we want to become by the end of the next year.
Manifestation teaches us this too: Picture yourself in the exact place you want to be. We’ve always got our eyes on the end goal. The unfinished moments are often seen as a time for us to feel impatient, irritable; When? When will the big thing happen? When will the final draft be done? I think this attitude often stifles us in a lot of ways — because a lot of times, it stops us from going and doing things. Instead, we sit around and wait.
The wintertime signifies a break — or hibernation — and so much guilt comes over me. So many things get put on pause, frozen in time; my motivation, my energy levels, my creativity. This is because I don’t always have the willpower to bring 100% to everything because it’s cold and dark and there’s only a month left of the damn year anyway! So then what? I’m stuck in the in-between, facing my unfinished self in the mirror.
Recently, I went to a local exhibit in Cleveland called, “How Did I Get Here?” by artist, Juliana Kokolari. Her paintings captured these in-between, slightly undone snapshots of life — not only through their emotion and color but also the textures that she played into it. These disheveled moments were illustrated with different motifs in acrylic paint — a lipstick stained cigarette, a knitted sweater halfway off a body. Each piece felt intimate, like the people on the canvas were welcoming you to see a different side (a truer side) of who they are.
And that’s why the pieces also showed closeness; an acceptance of imperfect, slightly chaotic moments and how they are constantly in flux. Funnily enough, her painting process reflected that too; “When I paint, what I start with is never what I end up with,” she told me.
I want to feel more at peace with my draft in progress. I don’t want to skip ahead to the last page or the final sentence. I don’t even want to have my style perfectly figured out yet, because then 5 years from now, what will I have to look back on with nostalgia? Skipping to the final product means you’re done evolving, done living. I know this winter I’ll feel a little frozen in time, but I’m going to instead try and honor that version instead of trying to melt it away.
💌 A LOVE LETTER TO…
Things I’m loving this month.
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This month’s edition also doubles as a gift guide for this holiday season — whether you’re needing some inspiration for what to get your loved ones or you’re in the mood to treat yourself.
1. The compilation album, Sky Girl gives me the most intense sense of de ja vu. It fills me with melancholy and every song feels like I’m listening to it through a dream. Which is why it’s become my favorite winter album — especially the track, “Frozen Laughter” by Rising Storm.
2. This gorgeous, blue ceramic tile from The Sunday Collection which I think could serve as a beautiful, eclectic coaster.
3. Silk scarves have become the perfect antidote to my sometimes overly gloomy, blacked-out winter wardrobe. I really enjoy them styled like a little neck tie like this or this. This is also a perfect item to go searching for in your local vintage stores or via Ebay.
4. I’ve found my new comfort winter candle: “Indigo” by gold & ivy. It has a wonderful scent but also creates an orange ambiance in the room that I desperately need when the sun goes down at 3 p.m.
5. Unique, eccentric hair clips. I’m on a hunt for cool metals to put in my hair that aren’t the same lazy claw clip I’ve worn into the ground. Especially in the winter, it’s so hard to keep your hair down — it gets all over the place and gets stuck in your coat zipper. Enough! I love something like this that makes a boring ponytail look SO glamorous. But also Etsy has endless options, like these adorable greyhound barettes.
6. Giant messenger bags and where to find them. When I saw the Coach SS23 collection, my eyes went straight to the bags: soft leather, deep browns, slouchy and BIG (!) enough to carry everything you need all winter long. In my tax bracket? Definitely not — but chic iterations of these bags exist elsewhere, like here.
7. There’s something about lush, black fur coats in the winter. A little unexpected, but so easy to mix and match. My beloved black fur coat was the first “brave” item that I bought that served both as a statement piece and an every day coat. Everyone needs an item that can hold that kind of duality.
8. In a time when homes are looking increasingly more modern, I think it’s fun to throw in something weird and archaic in the mix like this vintage lion candelabra from Tragic Objects. Less minimalist, more ornamental mansion vibes pleaaaaase.
9. My opinion on the ballet flats coming back into trend is still…in development (I’m extremely prone to blisters). But I’ve got to say that these luxurious, peachy pink pair from Lolo the Ballerina have seduced me. Maybe I just need a slipper version of these?
I 100% relate to learning to love the in-between moments. I’ve been on a journey of shedding my perfectionist mindset and just embracing the growth of my in-between moments.