Imperfect Rituals for a Slightly Improved Life
How to let your hesitant buds bloom
Early spring feels like a lazy stretch.
We’re not hopping out of bed excitedly but we are noticing our eyes squinting in the sun again. Parts of our body feel awake, while others are still defrosting.
The changing of seasons (especially from winter to spring) is a perfect time to refresh your routines.
For one, you feel more rejuvinated to do so. And yes, this feeling of invigoration must be taken advantage of. Your mind may immediately go to closet cleanouts and planning garage sales. But since our buds are still sprouting, I’m here to remind you that your spring goals don’t have to be all life-changing right away.
For me, it’s more about giving myself enough breathing room to fail at your routines so that you can still continue doing them.
As someone who was raised on the girlboss, mega-optimizaion era, I’ve been trying to find the gentle balance between self-improvement and self-compassion. I believe they can work together. Part of that is realizing that consistency — the very fuel of a good routine — isn’t when you do everything perfectly, but it’s when you keep getting up, rinsing and repeating.
Here’s what I’ve gathered so far.
1. Keep a commonplace notebook
My recent favorite form of journaling has been keeping a commonplace notebook. And, in my opinion, it’s a great form of journaling if you don’t know where to start or feel overwhelmed about what is the “right” way to do it (spoiler: there’s not).
This ancient form of notetaking is where you don’t journal about what’s on your mind, but what you’ve been consuming.
You do this by recording it down on the page bit by bit, excerpt by excerpt. For some, this may feel like taking notes for class, but to me, it’s a much more freeing feeling of journaling if you’re just not in the mood to just write about yourself.
Plus: I soon realized that jotting down a mini archive of media I’ve consumed could tell me just as much about myself as a diary entry would.
Among other things, these pages have recorded some of my favorite passages (and reflection) from the novel, “Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay” by Elena Ferrante, quotes from Alan Watts and some of my favorite lines from Nosferatu.
I also highly reccomend these following YouTube videos talking about the art of commonplace notebooks and the different ways to keep them:
2. Exercise your rage out
If you hate exercise, most of the advice directed at you is probably telling you to go the easy route. Yoga, cozy cardio, etc. And I think those are fine and I utilize them, too. But: I’d like to give my own exercise tip for those lukewarm about exercise. Use it as a release.
A recent epiphany around excercise for me came when I noticed a pivotal feeling. There were moments when I felt deeply angry, frusterated or overstimulated and felt the need to run.
Unfortunately, I hate running. I’ve always known this about myself. But every time I felt this, I knew somehow, even though I hated it, it would release something in me and give me fuel for exercise.
Since this realization came at the dead of winter, I found something that fit me better: spin class. As it turns out, the activity that got me off the couch was riding a stationary bike in a dark room while an EDM remix of Madonna’s “Frozen” plays at full volume (Pro tip: find a spin instructor with good energy and even better music taste).
Of course, I invite you to find your own version. Maybe it’s kickboxing, tennis or even a vigorous Zumba class. Whatever gets the demons out.
3. Shower with the lights off
For many years, I’ve failed at being a morning person. It’s a battle I’m still fighting and trying to figure out. But recently, I realized that if I can’t control how I start my days, I can control how I end them. Since I shower in the evenings, showering with the lights off has become a big part of this.
I’ve been doing this for about a year and I haven’t looked back. I use everything but the overhead lights; multiple candles, a small light projector and even a tiny nightlight. I also use this as a time to meditate because it’s one of the oly times I’m away with my phone. The sensation of hot water and steam makes it the perfect time for it.
If you’re a morning showerer, a different version of this advice is just to turn ALL overhead lights off once the sun goes down (which I do anyway). Put lamps everywhere. Use those candles you only save for fancy dinner parties. Whatever your bedtime routine, do it by candlelight.
4. Make a playlist for everything
This may not be the most unique tip, but I’ll share it anway. And this can apply to whatever way you enjoy your music — Spotify, YouTube or spinning vinyls. The point is: pairing parts of your day with music has helped me in so many ways.
Maybe it’s partially because it’s difficult for my brain to switch tasks sometimes, but it’s helped incentivize and romanticize parts of my routine.
So far, the most successful ones have been a shower playlist (which includes both meditative trip-hop tracks but also Fiona Apple songs I can sing/cry to), a bedtime playlist and a morning tasks playlist.
And of course, the one I’m playing as I write this: my ultimate “romanticize my writing routine” playlist that you’re free to use if it’s your vibe.
5. Make intentional zones in your home
I know, the idea of having a “meditation chair” may sound a little Goop-y. But a space devoted for you to practice, well, devotion to yourself can make quite the impact.
As someone who has been working remotely since 2020, my main focus has always been to create the perfect workspace. I’ve spent hours of my time crafting an area where I can be most productive. But then I realized that I haven’t taken the time to designate a space for when I want to feel the opposite of productive.
Sure, I can relax on the couch and work on something I love at my desk, but those spots come with their own mental baggage. No, I need an area to recharge my brain in a different way — even if it’s a tiny corner of my home office.
Recently, this just includes a new (but simple) yoga mat and a little altar on the floor next to my reading chair. I’ve always been a floor kid growing up and enjoyed being close to the ground (classic Taurus behavior) so it just made sense to keep it simple.
The point is: I have all the things I want to turn into a ritual in the same place. So far, it’s made my morning routine more healing than painful and I’ve almost been using it as a little “timeout” space for when my anxiety becomes too much.
5. Take 20
In the recent years, my love for the Pomodoro technique as increased exponentially. It has became a necessary task accelerator during work and staying focused on personal projets. But recently, I’ve started using it as a tool to force myself to clean up around the house, address a certain task I’ve been putting off, take a screen break, etc.
Something about knowing you have an “end-time” makes your “I don’t wanna” part of your brain happy, but tricks you for long enough that you get a decent amount done. And sometimes, you’re so motivated that you go beyond 20 minutes! I will say this technique was first put in my brain by
via one of her insightful TikToks.Obvoulsy, you can find your own version of a Pomodoro app anywhere on the internet. But I also really love the app, Forest, where the time that you spend focusing on a task is measured by the growth of a virtual plant. It’s cute and guilt-driven — works every time. Or, get a physical timer so you double this time as a phone break as well.
In case you missed it:
There’s a new podcast episode live on my YouTube, Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts! I had an amazing and inspiring chat with filmmaker and writer Alyssa Standen about her sources of inspiration and her recently released short film, “Trashy.”
love this!!! 💘 even took notes in a note pad I'll be using as a commonplace "book" from now on hahaha