Getting Ready With: Bari Sholom
"I can really easily identify what I'm in the mood for."
Getting Ready With is an interview series where I pass the keyboard to stylish creatives on how they get dressed, get inspired and get ready. If this post is too long for your email, you can view it better here.
Most of the advice you may see online around personal style building focuses around the external, aesthetic world. Stylist and creative consultant, Bari Sholom — “The Curated Tastemaker” — invites you to look inward. Her social media presence, which includes her impossibly chic outfits and signature glasses, also faces you with some much needed kernels of truth around getting dressed. “The art of dressing well is not about having more, it’s about needing less,” is just one of her many quotable pieces of advice. Whether it’s through her Substack posts or insightful TikTok videos, Bari’s wisdom may just give you the taste awakening you’ve been waiting for.
Here, she shares how she starts her day, what she’s been listening to and why getting dressed feels so effortless. 🔗 Where to find Bari: TikTok | Instagram | Substack
What is the first thing you put on every day?
Always my slippers. I rarely walk around my apartment without them, my feet are always freezing and I can't stand the feeling of cold bare feet on cold vinyl flooring.
One day soon when I have a house, I'll have hardwood floors and a vast yard - then I can imagine I'll always be barefoot soaking up the intelligence of the Earth and the first thing I put on will be something more interesting, like maybe dirt.
Do you start the day with any affirmations?
I like to set weekly mantras at the top of the week, I choose 3-4 words that inspire me to take aligned action in whatever I'm working on or playing with.
Clarity/clear is (mostly) always the first word, but some mantras comprehensively look like: Clarity, Precision, Passion, Confidence... or Clear, Centered, Calm, Collected. I'll typically write them on little notecards and pin them to the vision board in my office. It's incredibly powerful to read them all together with fresh eyes.
Another mantra I love comes from Thich Nhat Hanh, "Fresh like the flower, solid like the mountain, clear as still water, free as space" which grounds me immediately.
What are some rituals you like to do?
My morning routine has become pretty intense, but my connection to my inner source is the #1 priority and focus of my life, so I make the time for it. I start my routine with my headphones, I listen to affirmations as I make coffee and prepare my meditation station out on my balcony, with pillows and blankets.
I've been loving these affirmations recently; subconscious reprogramming affirmations work best right before you go to sleep and right as you arise.
Then, once my station is ready (facing the sun) and I feel settled, I start with 5 minutes of breathwork, followed by 10-30 minutes of meditation listening to Frequencies of Clarity. Then I get right into morning pages, 3 full pages of stream of consciousness journaling + 1 full page of my weekly mantra written out many times (this takes about 30- 40 minutes).
At this point, I'm feeling balanced, energized, and clear- I head inside for some mat pilates and the piece de resistance, Kundalini Yoga with Yogi Gems. I cannot describe to you the level of elation I feel when I complete this entire routine; I built it with the help of one of my mentors, and remaining consistent with it has been the greatest gift I've ever given myself.
After all is said and done, I turn on my speakers and play whatever music I'm in the mood for as I shower & make a quick breakfast for my fiancé and I.
What do you like to listen to while getting ready?
So many playlists! I love curating them. This one is a hodge-podge of my favorites throughout the years. I also have more concentrated vibes like, this.
The Handpan genre has grown on me quickly as I learn more about energetics and vibrations, which has made me very discerning about my consumption. Hot take: it's equally as energizing to get ready listening to something that relaxes your nervous system (& it makes you feel sexier).
What is a piece of clothing you're gravitating towards at the moment?
I'm really enjoying reconnecting with my outerwear again, I'm focused on my light weight trenches, mostly vintage but all second hand, to maximize their potential before it gets a bit too cold (shoutout to my favorite men's goodwill robe I thrifted for $7 that looks like it could be The Row).
“The persona that wants to be expressed through me finds her way through touch, sifting through iterations of the same, but distinctly indiviual items that hang in my closet”
Repetition is the key to branding & creating a distinct sense of style; serendipitously I find myself to be a creature of habit sartorially, so I pretty much wear the same 2-3 pieces for the whole season (which is pretty normal- no one needs 45 light-weight jackets). I've been dressing them up with brooches and other accessories like hats and gloves of course. Something about a structured full-length coat/jacket makes me feel mature & "to be taken seriously", which I juxtapose with weird accessories & unexpected shoes. It's a good little recipe.
What does your outfit building process usually look like?
At this point in my life and with the level of confidence I have in my style & presentation, I don't need to put much prior thought into what I'm wearing for the day unless there's something particularly interesting happening. I find (especially after my morning routine)
I can really easily identify what I'm in the mood for. I start by considering what will be most comforting physically. The persona that wants to be expressed through me finds her way through touch, sifting through iterations of the same, but distinctly indiviual items that hang in my closet.
“Something about a structured full-length coat/jacket makes me feel mature & "to be taken seriously", which I juxtapose with weird accessories & unexpected shoes. It's a good little recipe.”
Typically the building begins with bottoms, I've been living in buttery cotton trousers and thick wool maxi skirts which is nothing new. I have tried and true outfit formulas I lean on as a framework which simplifies the process and provides me context, "Creativity needs borders, individuality needs resistance, the earth needs gravity. without them there is no form, no art, only chaos" Alan Watts.
What do you always have in your bag before leaving the house?
Little bag: Cannabis pen, headphones, lip liner (NYX Mauve), book. Big bag: Cannabis pen, headphones, lip liner, journal, sketch book & charcoal pencils. Rarely am I prepared with a water bottle or snack, but I will have 3 different pairs of headphones for a variety of noise cancelation options. The introverted artist starter pack of sorts. My go-to bag is my chocolate Prada Galleria sourced from Vestiaire. She's aging sooo nicely I love her more every season.
What is your process for getting unready?
After eating dinner around 6-7pm I wind down with another shower. I like to keep the lights off, burn palo santo, play some handpan or frequency music- I live for a spa-like experience in my bathroom at home. I take my time with my skin and body care and slip into pajamas, I've had the same few vintage silk sets for over 10 years (stolen from my mom). In bed I do a bit of EFT tapping with Brad Yates, read, and doze off to a hypnosis, meditation, or more reprogramming affirmations.
I know this may seem like a lot for every day but the way I look at it, our entire experience of life is solely dictated by our perception, our thoughts (until we can quiet the mind and experience through our other senses). If we're resistant to untangle the inner workings of our own minds and don't take the time to reprogram our limiting beliefs, we will suffer and stagnate. When we heal, ascend, & work with the mind as the computer it is, we prosper.
🙌🙌 this was an honor! x
Wow thank you so much for sharing the link to Chantress Seba. I really enjoyed reading about your spiritual routine and find it inspiring.