The style and chaos of My Best Friend's Wedding
“Maybe there won’t be marriage, maybe there won’t be sex, but by God, there'll be dancing.”
The final scene from 1997’s My Best Friend’s Wedding still remains to be one of my favorites in the history of rom-coms.
In the scene, the main lead, Julianne Potter or “Jules” played by Julia Roberts, sits sulking in a lavender gown in a half-lit ballroom during a wedding reception. Instead of dancing happily with a husband, she is alone and has just said goodbye to the man she loved. Picked out of context, one might think this is a tragic ending to a love story. But it’s actually the finale to an honest rom-com about how love can bring out the best of us and the worst of us.
The ‘90s were truly a golden age for romantic comedies. Nancy Meyers was having her moment with feel-good love stories, Nora Ephron was making us clutch our pillows with films like Sleepless In Seattle (1993) and America’s big-haired sweetheart, Julia Roberts was dominating the screen with hits like Notting Hill, Pretty Woman and of course, My Best Friends Wedding, directed by P.J Hogan and screenplay written by Ronald Bass.
Now we’re in 2021 and lately, as the desire of new rom-coms has been resurfaced, I've been wondering about how this genre can be translated in our modern age -- in a way that still captures the cheesy, warm hearted nature, while still trying to address some of the shortcomings it's predecessors had. And when I think about the perfect blueprint that can be used, I always come back to My Best Friend’s Wedding.
A modern-day rom-com that comes to mind is actually the show, Crazy Ex Girlfriend (2015), which I find a lot of parallels between My Best Friend’s Wedding; mainly in terms of how they both take certain tropes like toxic relationships and pinning women against each other and flip them on their side. If you just look at the opening titles to the film and the opening sequence to Crazy Ex Girlfriend’s second season, there’s a similar theme in both; a self-parodying commentary on how finding love, fighting for it and doing anything —however toxic or unhealthy— will absolve you of any wrongdoing.
So if you’re looking for love, you can share,
All you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and love him,
And show him that you care.
I’m just a girl, in love.
I can’t be held responsible for my actions. I have no underlying issues to address, I’m certifiably cute and adorably obsessed.
The theme of obsessive love was definitely alive and well in this ‘90s rom-com. My Best Friend’s Wedding’s premise — a woman finds out her best friend is getting married and goes on a rampage trying to break up the wedding because she realizes she’s in love with him — is a pretty predictable one for the genre. But it’s the way the film mixes things up that made it resonate so well.
Jules and Kimmy; The other woman and the bride
To me, one of the most compelling parts of the film is the contrast and framing of the two female characters, Jules and Kimberly AKA “Kimmy” played by Cameron Diaz. And I’d say before the two women even utter their first pieces of dialogue, their clothing already sets the tone. The film’s costumes, designed by Jeffrey Kurtland, serve as an important tool of setting up the two characters and what their values and personalities are.
For most of the film, Roberts’ character, Jules, clearly is designed to have more of a casual, business-forward style with simple neutrals, beiges and blacks. In the opening scene, we see her in a beige suit, sitting at a restaurant preparing to give her judgement to a dish as a top food critic in the city. The image of her is clear: she’s independent and she’s not too worried about the bells and whistles when it comes to her wardrobe.
Her look is still chic, but more masculine, consisting of some classic ‘90s pantsuits, oversized blazers and a lack of patterns or bright colors. In a 1997 interview, Kurtland commented how his goal was for Jules’ wardrobe to be “mannish” (which is a weird, 90s tone deaf way to simply say…she likes to wear pants, but still expresses how this was something to define her style).
Jules’ outfits would probably not bat an eye in another film, but what really does it is the contrast with Cameron Diaz’s character: who sports bright colors, delicate cardigans, preppy patterns paired with neck scarves. We see their styles clash in the airport scene, right after Jules sees Michael for the first time and we see Diaz emerge in a bright yellow mini dress and green and white ascot.
Kimmy’s style is chic, playful but also sophisticated. And that’s a good way to sum up her character, who although young and a bit naive due to her privilege, isn’t stupid either. It’s in a later scene where we see one of the most important dialogues between the two women. Kimmy confronts Jules, but not in an angry or even jealous way, but simply addresses the elephant in the room. She admits that she has felt jealous and intimidated of her because of everything her fiance has told about Jules. It’s clear that Kimmy is dealing with insecurities of her own — but instead of attempting to scheme against her or even bar her from coming to he wedding, she faces it head on.
“He’s got you on a pedestal and me in his arms,” Kimmy says to Jules, basically admitting that it’s okay that he has a history with Jules and even looks up to her still, but at the end of the day, she trusts him enough that she is the one he chose as his partner in life.
But the beauty of this film is that (in my eyes, at least) it doesn’t pin the women against each other like other rom-coms would. Of course, in the story, Jules definitely tries to. She has a strong conviction that she — the less-girly, less relationship-focused one who has her own career and doesn’t have marriage on the mind is the right one for Michael. So she tries to bring it out in every way possible.
Take the karaoke scene. Kimmy’s simple pastel halter dress and signature over-the-shoulder cardigan sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of a crammed karaoke bar that Jules takes them to, knowing it would throw her out of her comfort zone. Of course, Jules — who sports a simple grey tank, black jeans and black cardigan — hopes that Kimmy completely flops like a fish out of water and Michael is able to see, in contrast that she isn’t the one.
However, despite having to warm up at first, Kimmy makes the most of it and stands up to sing, although completely off-tune but everyone cheers on and Michael seems to fall more in love with his bride-to-be more than before. Jules stares in shock, as if realizing nuance for the first time; “This woman can be girly and enjoy karaoke?”
In another scene where the three have dinner together, Jules is plotting to plant a seed to create conflict between Michael and Kimmy, which eventually leads to them having a big fight. The two women’s outfits couldn’t be more different — a pink sweater top for Kimmy and an all black ensemble for Jules. It’s almost like we see Jules becoming more deranged with each scene, as her wardrobe reflects her becoming more villain-like.
Throughout the whole film, Jules has a annoying superiority complex about herself (one that would rightfully get her branded a pick-me girl in today’s age) where she is convinced that she is a better fit for Michael because of her values and less feminine interests. In contrast to Kimmy, the fluttery deputant who is delaying her own schooling to marry her fiance, the two couldn’t be more different. But the film doesn’t punish either for their life decisions — only Jules’ eventual actions.
Lavender-colored glasses
What kind of dress do you give a main character who is the maid of honor to a woman whose fiance she is attempting to steal? Well, if you think about it, it’s not the exact route you would expect. Other films would go with something big and poofy, unflattering with insane colors (maybe something a la the wicked step sisters from Ella Enchanted?) But there’s more thought put into the dress and the choice of the dress than first meets the eye.
For the end of the film, Jules wears a soft, lavender gown which we see earlier in the film Diaz helping her try on. When Jules asks why her dress is different from the other two bridesmaids, Kimmy responds with, “You wouldn’t be comfortable if you weren’t distinctive,” referring to how Michael said that Jules would prefer a more unique look.
Although a clear compliment, the irony of it stings Jules in this scene and the dress, although elegant and unique against the other bridesmaids, still serves as a sort-of emblem of “You may be unique, but you still lost the guy.” The way I interpret it is that Kimmy’s intentions were good and pure but Jules is still so wrapped up in believing she’s the one for Michael, she views the dress as a slap in the face.
In the context of bridesmaid dresses and their more ugly stereotyping in films, this one was actually quite a hit, in my humble opinion. Roberts looked great in it, and the soft, springy color seemed to signify the character feeling reborn in a way in the last scene of the film. The silk mermaid-style dress hugs her perfectly and features an off-the-shoulder neckline and has just a pinch of glitter detailing that peaks through at her collarbone.
This shade of lavender has stayed in my brain since I first saw the movie — maybe it was already a favorite color of mine back then, or maybe this solidified it, who knows. Also, as far as color symbolism goes, lavender is considered to be the “grown-up” pink, still playful and feminine, but with an elegance that makes it a symbol of maturity as well. Which makes it extra interesting that the dress is worn by a very immature character, doing terrible, destructive and childish things.
(Un)happy endings
In the end, Jules goes off the rails as her contempt for Kimmy and obsession with Michael gets the best of her and she has to eventually learn the lesson: you don’t always get what you want, and maybe that’s for the best. But let’s be honest, it’s just as fun to see a character utterly destroy themselves on screen as it is to see them succeed.
After rewatching this film, I couldn’t help but see the similarities with Uncut Gems, where the main lead also does absolutely everything wrong, opposite and bombastic throughout and we all know it's not going to end well. It's truly a car crash that you can't look away from -- or in this film's case, a car chase where Jules is literally in pursuit Michael in a bread van while he is chasing a distressed Kimmy after seeing them embrace in a kiss.
And when Jules calls George (her editor, friend and arguably the best part of the whole film), he responds with a great line that manifests what the whole audience is thinking.
"Michael's chasing Kimmy. You're chasing Michael. Who's chasing you? Nobody. Get it?"
In the end, her lavender dress still ends up being a good fit, as she looks distinctive walking down the aisle, but now, of course isn’t walking to marry her best friend and she’s accepted that she’s lost. Even during her maid of honor speech, she asks the band to play her and Michael’s song “The Way You Look Tonight” and says the couple can have it “on loan” until they find their own, a true sign of maturity.
Even though our main character has lost, the very last scene still gives me more emotional release than more traditional happy endings. It celebrates the things we usually don’t celebrate in rom-coms and romantic love stories: missed chances. And although Jules was meant to be unlikable and we were meant to root against her, we still see some of the toxic traits in us. It makes us ask; what could we be pushed to do by love?
This film doesn’t strap on the rose-colored glasses, instead, it shows their affect of the damage they can do.
The final scene is a perfect ending to Jules’ story. It’s the part of a rom-com where we would expect a romantic, last-minute ending. Instead, there’s a call from George, who proceeds to narrate us into the end of the film and basically say to her (and us) that actually, this is a happy ending. His words, better than anything sum up what this film is all about:
“The misery, the exquisite tragedy. The Susan Hayward of it all. I can just picture you there, sitting alone at your table in your lavender gown (…) Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you're off your chair in one, exquisite movement... wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again?”
Although we’re not getting our fairytale ending, all is as it should be. The main character didn’t get the guy. We still get a dance scene, a sense of hope for the future and a feeling of satisfaction nonetheless. But along the way we leave with some tough lessons to swallow: Sometimes you miss your chance, sometimes you don’t win and sometimes (sometimes!) you are not the main character, but the villain all along.
Ultimately, through its chaos, its framing, dialogue and even style, this film highlights the absurdity of what it means to be in love, to be moved by it and misguided by it. Also it tells us that even though we lose love or have to give it up, we can still find happiness.
“Life goes on. Maybe there won't be marriage... maybe there won't be sex... but, by God, there'll be dancing.”
I liked "sometimes you are not the main character, but the villain all along." a lot. Great read, it felt like I was watching the movie!